Secret Confessions of A Silent Heart
by kisswithabyte
Summary: Simple one-shot. Damon left without saying goodbye to Elena; she finally comes to terms with his absence
1. Chapter 1

Secret Confessions of a Dying Heart

I missed him.

In the beginning I desperately wanted him to leave and not that he has I can't even conjure the words to express my feelings

I tried acting normal around Stefan acting as if maybe his absence was better for our relationship. He always felt that a competition was needed for my attention after countless reassuring from me that I was his and only his. Maybe it was the funny banter between me and Damon, maybe it was the second long glances that we shared or maybe the fact that no matter how many times I have tried holding my breath, my heart denies my mind and beats rapidly when he enters a room.

Whatever it was it seem to instantly vanish when the dust starting collecting in his room. You even see a smile graces his face which even I must admit has made too many appearances. I should feel happy right. I should be glad that threats on my life have vanished that I can breathe without having to look over my shoulder. Everyone is safe and my life is at ease. So why am I complaining? I know the answer…I think I always knew the answer because normal just doesn't suit me anymore my life had meaning when danger was in it because I knew that he was here. My life was threatened everyday and I was okay with it because he made the moments so much sweeter, so much real. I understood the meaning of loving unconditionally when I was not his to love but that made no difference in his eyes. He loved me and he didn't need to tell me it in words.

I was so caught up in feeling safe by Stefan that I realized I didn't need a security blanket anymore. I can make my own decisions, that I wasn't the precious rag doll that needed to be taken care of all the time. He understood that when I wasn't even aware of it back then. He reminded me of the old Elena who was this confident careful girl and he never met her but knew that she was under all the layers of shell. If I let my mind wander long enough I think he is the only one that really understands me just as I do him. So why couldn't he understand that leaving me who hurt me? Why couldn't he see that his presence was needed in my life because he became the most important thing in my life?

He didn't want to see

He wanted to leave

And I miss him


	2. Chapter 2

I missed her

I wanted to tell her bye. I should have told her bye but my mind and heart told me to just go.

I wonder if she cared or if she even noticed that I had left

Of course not Damon, she probably is glad that I left

No her and Stefan can have the perfect teenage romance that she so desperately wanted

One day she would notice that she can and will do better than what is Stefan is offering. That she is not some little girl that needs someone to hold her hands when things get difficult. She has this spark in her that is dying to come out. I had seen it a few times during our moments of banter or even when she tries to glare at me but the signs of a slight smile tug at the corners of her lips instead. One day it is going to burst through her shell and consume her entirely. She always said we have an understanding but I can't understand how she manages to hide who she is because it feels safer. I can't understand how she pushes and strangles her inner beauty for the likes of Stefan.

I would have stayed by her side to the end of time just to catch another glimpse of it. Eternity would be pleasant enough just to witness her unraveling at the core.

But I couldn't punish myself any longer

I couldn't watch her love another even if it is my brother. I should be happy for them, well her. But I couldn't stand the sickness in my stomach when they kissed; they laughed at each other jokes, the way that they can sit silently on the couch and just are content with each other's presence or the false hope that made my heart flutter when I had entered the room and see her heart beat rapidly only to turn around and see Stefan behind me. I couldn't torture myself anymore because I figured that maybe just maybe love would welcome me with open arms and not enslave me to loneliness for the rest of eternity. My karma has finally caught up to me just to bite me in the ass. Fate played me a shitty hand but I am glad for one thing….

Elena was in it

I will always love as I will always miss her

But the heart must let the pain go to heal

And I must let her go


End file.
